Re-evaluation Counseling and Adultism

I learned about adultism through Re-evaluation Counseling (aka RC or Co-Counseling), a grassroots movement that began in the early 50’s. Harvey Jackins and several friends figured out that they could exchange effective help with each other in the form of peer counseling. They also realized that the expression of emotion (crying in sadness, laughing in embarrassment, sweaty palms, trembling in fear, etc.) is actually the way to heal emotional hurts. So, a typical RC session splits the available time in half, and allows each person a turn at being client and counselor. The counselor’s role is to actively listen and support the client to “discharge” any emotions they feel about any topic that is of current concern. The client’s role is to dive into an issue that is currently causing distress. With regular sessions, as trust grows between client and counselor, deeper and deeper feelings can be expressed, feelings that often relate to an individual’s early run-ins with racism, classism, sexism, and of course, adultism.

RC has done some amazing things over the past nearly 60 years, one of them has been connecting emotional distress with the effects of various oppressions. Another has been to invite people to write about their experiences as they unearth the effects of oppression in their personal lives. These articles are published in a number of journals by the organization, which are available for purchase on their website. There are RC groups in many major metropolitan areas around the world, where classes and support groups are available. I encourage anyone who’s interested to visit the RC website. RC has been a fabulous resource in my life and offers an amazing amount of rich information about adultism.

The Foundational Oppression

If adults consistently disrespect a child, that child sees disrespect as a natural part of life. It doesn’t take long for her to start believing, without consciously thinking about it, that her ideas are not worthy of attention by adults and are therefore useless to society. There is a pervasive belief that only the ideas of adults are valid and that children have absolutely no credibility until they have attained the exalted state of adulthood (even though it is never clear what constitutes an adult!)

Once a person has been indoctrinated to consistent disrespect in the form of being overlooked, ignored, controlled, poked and prodded against his will…and another oppression comes along, like racism, classism or sexism, there is no fight left. The fight fled before the person even got conscious enough to realize “this is not right.”

Maybe it’s easier to see when the reverse is true. When a young person is respected from the beginning, when she is given a say in the things impacting her own life, when she feels a sense of power and control over her life, when her opinions and feelings are validated by the adults around her…and sexism (or sexual exploitation) or classism or racism comes along, it’s like, “What? Are you kidding me? I don’t deserve to be treated like this!”