tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-39176500440601416922024-03-12T19:49:18.915-07:00Adultism: A Well-Kept SecretAdultism is the term used to describe the oppression of young people by adults.
An article by John Bell included this definition: “…adultism refers to behaviors and attitudes based on the assumption that adults are better than young people, and entitled to act upon young people without their agreement. This mistreatment is reinforced by social institutions, laws, customs, and attitudes.”Margaret Pevec. MAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13245204801036529952noreply@blogger.comBlogger30125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3917650044060141692.post-16321481362746438132011-09-15T10:31:00.001-07:002011-09-15T10:36:19.192-07:0018 is Artitrary<style>
<!--
/* Font Definitions */
@font-face
{font-family:Cambria;
panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4;
mso-font-charset:0;
mso-generic-font-family:auto;
mso-font-pitch:variable;
mso-font-signature:3 0 0 0 1 0;}
/* Style Definitions */
p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal
{mso-style-parent:"";
margin:0in;
margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-fareast-font-family:Cambria;
mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;}
@page Section1
{size:8.5in 11.0in;
margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in;
mso-header-margin:.5in;
mso-footer-margin:.5in;
mso-paper-source:0;}
div.Section1
{page:Section1;}
-->
</style> <br />
<style>
<!--
/* Font Definitions */
@font-face
{font-family:Cambria;
panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4;
mso-font-charset:0;
mso-generic-font-family:auto;
mso-font-pitch:variable;
mso-font-signature:3 0 0 0 1 0;}
/* Style Definitions */
p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal
{mso-style-parent:"";
margin:0in;
margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-fareast-font-family:Cambria;
mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;}
@page Section1
{size:8.5in 11.0in;
margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in;
mso-header-margin:.5in;
mso-footer-margin:.5in;
mso-paper-source:0;}
div.Section1
{page:Section1;}
-->
</style> <div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;">On the Internet I go by Renaissance Kid or Josiah Power. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;">I taught myself to draw, use computers, film and more at an early age. I was learning languages but our family had some hard times, so I had to stop and there was no other school I could attend. At age 11, one of my videos beat out the adults and was featured at an International Women’s Rights Forum. My videos have also been featured on YouTube.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;">Places like Orlando Tech and Full Sail still kept telling me I was too young. They said I had to wait ‘til I am 18 to be part of their program, even though my parents told them they would chaperone me to the classes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;">Yet every day I hear how young people in America are behind in education; how other kids in other nations are ahead of us. These kids do not have to wait ‘til they are 18. There are many young people in America who are talented, but if they are not playing basketball, football, singing, acting, or dancing, they are not recognized for their talents. There is nothing wrong with those talents, but those are not my talents.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;">See me on Facebook at </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";"><a href="http://www.facebook.com/RenaissanceKiDD"><span style="color: #0b36a2; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;">http://www.facebook.com/RenaissanceKiDD</span></a></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;"> and on YOUTUBE at </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/user/xwushux"><span style="color: #0b36a2; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;">http://www.youtube.com/user/xwushux</span></a> </span></div>Margaret Pevec. MAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13245204801036529952noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3917650044060141692.post-5298219880708563982011-08-22T10:32:00.000-07:002011-09-15T10:29:25.681-07:00Why Don't Adults Listen?<div style="font-family: inherit;">The following was submitted to my website by Jessica M. from Ireland. I have a space there for people to share their stories of adultism. (please visit it at: <a href="http://margaretpevec.com/adultism">margaretpevec.com/adultism</a>).</div><div style="font-family: inherit;">-----------------</div><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span><style>
<!--
/* Font Definitions */
@font-face
{font-family:Cambria;
panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4;
mso-font-charset:0;
mso-generic-font-family:auto;
mso-font-pitch:variable;
mso-font-signature:3 0 0 0 1 0;}
/* Style Definitions */
p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal
{mso-style-parent:"";
margin:0in;
margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-fareast-font-family:Cambria;
mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;}
@page Section1
{size:8.5in 11.0in;
margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in;
mso-header-margin:.5in;
mso-footer-margin:.5in;
mso-paper-source:0;}
div.Section1
{page:Section1;}
-->
</style> <br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">Recently I was at an event and ran into the teacher of an art course I took when I was 16. She is much older than me and has children my own age.</div><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"></div><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">We had a conversation and she asked me when I was going to learn to drive. I explained that I probably won't for the foreseeable future because I have a neurological problem. Her response?</div><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"></div><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">“Well, you'll have to learn sometime.”</div><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"></div><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">I explained that no, that is a very irresponsible view to take because I could have an attack and cause a crash. I also explained what my neurological issue was and exactly why it makes driving dangerous. She laughed and said 'but you'll have to learn sometime, it'll put you at such a disadvantage.</div><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"></div><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">What got me was the difference in social status between us as “adult” and “young person” and the fact that older people are seen as wiser and more worthy of being listened to, whereas younger people are often seen as not having anything valid to say due to lack of life experience. And here was this “older person who knows best.” actually advising me to endanger my life and those of other people. </div><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span>Margaret Pevec. MAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13245204801036529952noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3917650044060141692.post-17232277811217820192011-04-14T11:01:00.000-07:002011-04-14T11:01:00.323-07:00Youth Rights Day<style>
<!--
/* Font Definitions */
@font-face
{font-family:Cambria;
panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4;
mso-font-charset:0;
mso-generic-font-family:auto;
mso-font-pitch:variable;
mso-font-signature:3 0 0 0 1 0;}
/* Style Definitions */
p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal
{mso-style-parent:"";
margin:0in;
margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-fareast-font-family:Cambria;
mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;}
@page Section1
{size:8.5in 11.0in;
margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in;
mso-header-margin:.5in;
mso-footer-margin:.5in;
mso-paper-source:0;}
div.Section1
{page:Section1;}
-->
</style> <br />
<div class="MsoNormal">In honor of the second annual Youth Rights Day today (chosen because it was John Holt's birthday, a man well worth knowing about in regards to youth empowerment), I reread a couple articles about lowering the drinking age at the National Youth Rights Association (<a href="http://www.youthrights.org/">NYRA</a>) website. Their strongest argument is based on the phenomenon of "forbidden fruit;" that is, anything that's prohibited only makes it more attractive. Their next argument goes like this: with the emphasis on alcohol prohibition for people under 21, dialoguing about it in any rational way is <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">not</i> emphasized. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Funny the NYRA folks should bring that up! We (adults) don't want to engage in rational dialogue with youth, probably because they would make us confront our own irrational behavior, not only about alcohol, but with drugs, sex, and other "bad" stuff that humans so love to do. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I would get really upset about the craziness of our alcohol policy, except that all our major social policies are just as screwy, irrational, illogical, and need I say, counterproductive? Take your pick: policies about drugs, abortion, taxes, the death penalty, the right to die; compulsory education, all are based on fear, tradition, and one group (highly conservative, mostly fundamentalist Christian people) lording it over those of us that are ready for some major paradigm shifting. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Can't we get real and acknowledge our seemingly inbuilt tendency to want to alter our consciousness from time to time, probably so we can feel less afraid? Can't we acknowledge that simultaneous with wanting to alter our consciousness, we are ashamed of that impulse, so we pretend we don't want to, and officially prohibit young people from doing it as well? After all, we're not kidding anyone, especially youth. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">In contrast, consider what the NYRA says in their article, titled "Solutions," about lowering the alcohol age<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"></i>: "It is time we as a nation implement a smarter alcohol policy; an alcohol policy based on education, toleration, and a message of responsible, moderate use." Whew...like a cool breeze billowing the curtains on a perfect spring day, eh?</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12pt;">Please check out the NYRA and their highly rational policy statements on drinking, voting, and curfew. And, next year, think about organizing for National Youth Rights Day (April 14), to stir up some dialogue about our crazy laws based on age.</span>Margaret Pevec. MAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13245204801036529952noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3917650044060141692.post-26772053325522831872011-03-22T11:50:00.000-07:002011-03-22T11:50:06.415-07:00Double StandardsThe following was submitted to my website by Jessica M. from Ireland. I have a space there for people to share their stories of adultism. (please visit it at: <a href="http://margaretpevec.com/adultism">margaretpevec.com/adultism</a>)<br />
<br />
<br />
I was doing my shopping in the supermarket, and needed to carry my family's groceries out in a box. Standing at the checkout, I whipped the box up in a clean and jerk type movement and set it on my head, the way women do in some African countries. The old woman working the till was very alarmed and said a light girl like me shouldn't be lifting heavy things. I said it was fine; it wasn't even heavy. She wouldn't let the issue alone. I told her again it was fine and I regularly lifted heavier things than that at home and in the gym. She just talked over me saying I'd have spinal problems by the time I was her age. <br />
<br />
I'd like to know how it would have been if the ages had been reversed. If a young person were to override an old person they didn't know like that it would be seen as gross rudeness.<br />
<br />
When I related the incident to a friend, he didn't see what I had to complain about. He said "I hope you weren't rude to her. If someone talked crap to my elderly mother I'd smack them around the head." <br />
<br />
In other words, he felt, that not only should elderly people have a free pass to be disrespectful, but that objecting to disrespectful or invasive behaviour on an older person's part is "rudeness," and so inappropriate that it deserves physical violence. <br />
<br />
This left a very acid taste in my mouth. Is it really that hard to treat a young person as a human being with boundaries?Margaret Pevec. MAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13245204801036529952noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3917650044060141692.post-7301232965402797072010-12-03T09:12:00.000-08:002010-12-03T09:12:05.819-08:00Invading the Personal Space of Young PeopleThe following was submitted to my website by Jessica M. from Ireland. I have a space there for people to share their stories of adultism. (please visit it at: <a href="http://margaretpevec.com/adultism">margaretpevec.com/adultism</a>)<br />
<br />
An example of adultism I experienced and still feel strongly about is physical touch. As a child I remember adults seemed to think it was okay to openly touch me, hug me, or play with my hair, even if I didn't know them. I think the assumption was that if you're young, you don't understand boundaries, so they don't have to worry about overstepping boundaries with a young person. I have mild Asperger's symptoms and one of them is a strong aversion to touch. Being a child at the time, I didn't really know how to handle the behaviour except by recoiling or saying loudly and defiantly "I don't like being touched!" I was called "rude" and told they were just being friendly; that the appropriate response was to smile politely. I find that ironic, since if anyone behaved like that to an adult, it would be the person doing the touching who would be called rude and the adult would be quite within their rights to refuse the unwanted touch. Yet because I was a child I was expected to tolerate the behaviour and smile about it. My mother, to her credit, explained that it was okay to refuse physical touch but that I should do it in a calm and polite way, such as "Excuse me but I don't like being touched unless it's by someone I know well."<br />
<br />
I also had teachers at school behave in this overly familiar way. They would casually take hold of my arm or even mess with my hair, and would act very shocked and concerned when I refused their touching. At one school there was actually a list of students' rights, one of them being "to refuse unwanted touches." Yet they didn't like it if I said I didn't like being touched and acted as if I were being rude just for asserting basic boundaries. <br />
<br />
I still feel angry when recalling these incidents. They were the adults, I was the child, yet I was the one expected to tolerate their inappropriate behaviour, because they were adults therefore it was okay.Margaret Pevec. MAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13245204801036529952noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3917650044060141692.post-3894188498687747312010-07-22T14:47:00.000-07:002010-07-22T15:22:49.307-07:00Adultism on a School Council<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">This personal story of adultism was sent to me by Anthony from Melbourne, Australia, and was an experience he had a couple years ago. If you’d like to share one of your own, please go to my website (<a href="http://margaretpevec.com/adultism">margaretpevec.com/adultism</a>) and post one. It can be anonymous.</div><div style="border-color: -moz-use-text-color -moz-use-text-color windowtext; border-style: none none solid; border-width: medium medium 1pt; padding: 0in 0in 1pt;"><div class="MsoNormal" style="border: medium none; padding: 0in;"><br />
</div></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">It was my first time to attend the School Council as a representative of the Student Representative Council (SRC), and I was excited! My friend David and I went to the meeting together. We entered the room filled with parents, with the principle at the head of the table. I shook hands with each of the adults. We sat down, and a copy of the school's budget was passed around. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">As I read it, the principle leaned over to me and said, "Do you understand it?" I wanted to maintain my dignity, so I said "Yeah, I get the gist of it." David hadn't even bothered touching his copy of the budget. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">The meeting started. The adults were all very familiar with one another, creating an awkward atmosphere that made me fearful to speak up. Eventually, the topic of "students coming late" was raised. As the adults spoke about how "dreadful" the amount of people coming late was, I raised my hand. I refused to be an idle spectator. I wanted to have my say as a student at the school.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">"Oh look! Anthony has something to say," announced my principle in a patronizing tone. I ignored her tone of voice and spoke. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">"In my experience as a student who often comes late, I've noticed that no one really ever chases me up. I know there are consequences, but they aren't ever enforced," I didn't wish to put forward a position, but I figured that as a student, I could offer a perspective on the problem that the adults weren't aware of. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">The other adults began to giggle. My principle leaned over to me: "Well Anthony, if you come late so often, then you get a detention!" she said, jokingly. The other adults began to laugh uproariously. The principle then told me in an aside, "I'm told that students ARE chased up, but thank-you for your contribution," she said dismissively, before going on to the next topic. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">Later, my principle announced: "Now for our formal SRC update from David and his companion Anthony." <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">What followed was a scene that seemed incredibly scripted, as if this was something they repeated at every meeting. David talked about how the SRC was organizing another "Free Dress Day," about the punctuality of the meetings, the liveliness of the discussions. The principle thanked him, then went on to discuss the next topic. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">I was shocked, THIS is all the SRC is capable of doing at the School Council?! A formal address; the ability to organize a single casual dress day? <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">Angered, I raised my voice. "Actually, there are a couple of other things we needed to say," I announced. The other adults turned to look at me. The principle gave me permission to go on and I did. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">I said that our SRC had received a letter from another student, requesting that a gate be installed for students at the back of the school. The letter explained that students were currently jumping over the fence when leaving school. The reaction was immediate laughter. I heard somebody say "how cute" in the background. A couple of jokes were made. The principle then announced the transition to the next topic. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">I interrupted, "Well, are you going to look into it?" I asked. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">"Don't worry, we will" she told me, dismissively, before moving on. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">It was at least one year until a gate was installed into that fence. And I guess it wasn't me that prompted that action. After that night, I left the SRC. I decided that it was little more than a facade, given to the students to delude them into thinking they had a say. The education system isn't designed to benefit the students, but their parents.</span></div>Margaret Pevec. MAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13245204801036529952noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3917650044060141692.post-6387435789010726102009-05-07T17:36:00.000-07:002009-05-07T17:45:23.044-07:00When Students Were KilledMy sister-in-law sent me the link to this <a href="http://www.suntimes.com/news/nation/1559061,w-kent-state-killings-reunion-050509.article">article</a> about the Kent State killings; May 4th marked the 39th anniversary. I received my BS in 2003 and my MA in 2005 at Kent State, but when the shootings occurred I was 19 and living in Columbus, OH. My life at that moment in time had just taken an unanticipated turn, so I don’t recall thinking about the tragedy that much. As I scan back in my memory, my sense is that I wasn’t surprised that the governor of my state called out the National Guard and students were shot. Now I’m appalled, but back then I wasn’t. I knew most adults didn’t like young people. We were on opposing teams. Adults were people one had to appease, tolerate, and basically stay away from as much as possible.<br /><br />Killing college students for protesting the war in Viet Nam belongs on the extreme side of adultism, along with incest, child molestation, child pornography. It sent a strong, clear message to young people in the U.S. and around the globe: we don’t care what you think and we’ll shut you up with force if need be…butt out, you’re not wanted, you don’t count. The fervor and fever of protest died down after that…I don’t think we’ve seen it matched since on college campuses.<br /><br />I didn’t know much about the Kent State killings until I attended school there several years ago. There is a commemorative event each year and I walked with one of the survivors to each of the sites where events occurred and heard his story. I also read a number of articles to gain a better understanding of what had happened. Yesterday, when I read the article about Mary Ann Vecchio, the young woman in the <a href="http://www.freebase.com/view/wikipedia/images/en_id/193415">oh-so-famous photograph</a> just after four students died, I learned for the first time that she was a 14-year-old runaway from Florida. Now I realize that her reaction to the death of Jeffrey Miller spoke the horror and anguish of many of us. An adult would have been less likely to show their full feelings…more likely to have gotten right to the business of ambulances and taking control of an out-of-control situation. Mary Ann gave us her unedited reaction…it’s written all over her face: “How could you let this happen?!”<br /><br />Indeed.Margaret Pevec. MAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13245204801036529952noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3917650044060141692.post-70354957448225314482009-04-29T16:57:00.000-07:002009-04-29T17:01:37.925-07:00Practicing HumilityAdults should have a whole lot more humility than they commonly display when dealing with young people, especially teenagers. The reason I’m thinking about this is that I’m reading “Name All the Animals” by Alison Smith. It’s a memoir about her experiences as a teenager after her brother died in a car accident in 1983. She lived in a Catholic community, her parents were Catholic and she went to a Catholic girls school. And, she got a modicum of support from the adults around her. In the first 2 years post tragedy, there were several instances in which an adult reached out to her or noticed that she was grieving. But mostly she was alone with her grief.<br /><br />I was 16 when my brother died (he was 21, it was a suicide), I don’t recall any adult making an attempt to speak to me or to let me talk about the grief that I held inside. Like Allison, I walked around in a daze. I was the “girl who’s brother died” for awhile at school, a bit of notoriety which soon faded. I remember giving an oral report about mental illness in my health class…the teacher may have asked me how I was doing. But, my “okay” satisfied him that all was well. It wasn’t. My mother and stepfather were caught in the web of their own grief, I had no connection with any of my teachers. Grief counseling was unheard of. I was on my own.<br /><br />As adults, many of us, especially those in authority over young people, go around acting like we have it all together. And we carefully nurture that idea when we’re with teenagers. They know it’s not true. They can see us leaking our griefs, our fears and uncertainties all over the place. They know that when we’re getting angry at them it has something to do with our insecurities about ourselves. But, we keep up the ruse…gamely pretending that adulthood confers wisdom. The only thing that adulthood confers is experience…more time in the trenches as a human being. How we use the experience and learn from it is up to each individual.<br /><br />In my experience as a 16-year old I found few wise and kind adults. I had one teacher in four years of high school that seemed like a human being with desires and frailties like me. He had left his wife (rare in those days) in order to marry another woman. Somehow I knew he was in love…perhaps he shared a poem he had written, I don’t recall. But, he came to my house to offer his condolences after my brother died. He stood at the door and told me how sorry he was, that’s all. I was touched by that and I’ve never forgotten it.<br /><br />The fact is, the majority of adults don’t know how to deal with hard stuff that happens or how to be helpful to teenagers who are going through something hard. And that’s why we should be humble and not act like we do.Margaret Pevec. MAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13245204801036529952noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3917650044060141692.post-42895743484944134902009-04-09T05:52:00.000-07:002009-04-09T06:01:03.739-07:00Infiltrating the status quo with adultismA high school student from South Dakota is sneaking the topic of adultism into a creative writing assignment! I heartily recommend this method of infiltrating the status quo. He asked the following questions and I (briefly) answered them. I don't have a lot of time because I'm currently in Ohio helping my mom pack up to move to Colorado with me.
<br />
<br /><strong>Is adultism a problem in today’s society and why or why not?</strong>
<br /><strong>
<br /></strong>Adultism is the next step in consciousness raising, treating young people as valued and important members of society and welcoming their ideas and perspectives. I think many young people are underchallenged because we do not value their input. Our schools are outmoded institutions that still replicate a method of learning that was suitable for producing the factory workers of the 20th century. This has to change. Especially since the world is becoming so complex and we need all the creative ideas we can get.
<br />
<br /><strong>Why do so many people not know about adultism? </strong>
<br /><strong>
<br /></strong>Because it is so generally practiced, it is the air we breathe, the paradigm of our life, it has always been thus... Most adults think it their right to treat young people disrespectfully; to treat them differently than they would other adults. Also, adults control all research. What adult is going to cop to the idea that they oppress young people and find ways to do the research and publish the articles that will make it clear to others? I did it, but it was a drop in the bucket. But I hope others will follow my lead and make adultism a common theme in social science research.
<br /></strong>
<br /><strong>Where is adultism most prominent?</strong>
<br /><strong>
<br /></strong>It is ubiquitous, but of course, since home and schools are the primary points of adult/youth interaction, these are places where adultism is most prevalent. In the home it is a tricky situation to educate about adultism, because parents do have a responsibility to support and protect their children. It requires a highly conscious individual to make sure their parenting is responsive to the child's growing sense of self mastery, and to respect the child to make decisions for him/herself, and support those decisions. There is a growing movement of consciousness in this area, but of course, change is slow.
<br />
<br /><strong>Are there any people who are unaffected by adultism?</strong>
<br />
<br />It is the earliest oppression and perpetrated on all. Some parents and some schools have found ways to make children equal partners in life and again, I think this is a growing trend.
<br />
<br /><strong>Who is most likely to be affected by adultism?</strong>
<br />
<br />We all are. Children are not supported and respected to contribute to adult society. Adults miss out on the unique perspectives and understandings of youth. Our societies suffer from this lack. For example, young people are natural, "out of the box" thinkers. They are not so hampered by habitual ways of seeing the world. However, their sometimes fantastic ideas are often dismissed by adults.
<br />
<br /><strong>Can anything be done to get rid of adultism?</strong>
<br />
<br />The more people who know about it, the more they can teach about it, the more it will change. Having one word to describe youth oppression is a big step forward. Getting more and more people aware of this will also make change.
<br />Margaret Pevec. MAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13245204801036529952noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3917650044060141692.post-87668539924711081332009-04-03T16:06:00.000-07:002009-04-03T16:46:43.725-07:00Your Invitation to Be Heard About AdultismThe following is a personal experience of adultism that was submitted recently on my <a href="http://www.margaretpevec.com/html/adultism.html">website</a>. I invite anyone who has a story from their current life or their past to submit your story or stories. They will eventually be published in a book about adultism. It is up to you whether you include your name or any identifying details. Your privacy, if you want it, will be totally respected and protected.<br />--------------------<br /><br />I am in my senior year of high school in South Dakota. One of my teachers, I’ll call her Mrs. X, recently accused me and my girlfriend of cheating on an essay test because we used our own paper instead hers. We were given the questions ahead of time, and we were accused of writing our answers together and bringing them to class. We explained that we did not cheat in any way, and told the teacher that we had gone to another teacher for advice on how to write a good essay on the upcoming test, and used that teacher’s advice. There was no way we could have written 2 essay answers in the 5 minutes we had after speaking to the other teacher. Mrs. X and two other teachers sat us down and said that our evidence didn’t matter, and that we were going to be punished. We went to our principal, and he became angry that we went to him. He had a discussion with Mrs. X, and we were later told that we weren't being accused of cheating but were being punished because we didn't follow directions and use Mrs. X's paper. When we said she never told us to use her paper, we were ignored and we had to take the test again or take a large point deduction on our first test. Our school record has a cheating incident on it with Mrs. X.<br />-----------------<br /><br />Have you ever been accused of cheating with no opportunity to be taken seriously when you denied it? Have you ever expected to be supported by an adult, and found out that in the case of adult vs. youth, the adult wins? Share your story here in comments or on my <a href="http://www.margaretpevec.com/html/adultism.html">website</a>.Margaret Pevec. MAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13245204801036529952noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3917650044060141692.post-36554948646510042422009-04-02T15:37:00.000-07:002009-04-02T15:39:16.229-07:00"Ageism" is not "Adultism"I think it's really interesting that the word “ageism” is thought to mean any oppression based on age, and indeed, that may be the official definition of the term. I recently heard this perspective in a workshop I attended as we were brainstorming all the oppressions we knew. As usual, none of the adults present had ever heard the word “adultism” and thought “ageism” addressed all age-based oppressions. When I was doing research for my thesis in Family Studies in 2005, I checked through much of the “ageism” literature and found only a few cases where the word was used to include youth oppression. Doing a Google search on “ageism” also results in lots of articles about elder oppression. I’m glad we acknowledge that elders are disrespected, ignored, patronized…that is certainly true. However, we fail to acknowledge that young people are treated like this as well, and that a separate word has been coined and is being widely used to connote youth oppression.<br /><br />My initial take on this is that all adults are anticipating ageism because we’re all aging and will reach a point in time where we too will be its victim. So, perhaps we are more sensitive to an oppression that we know is coming. However, our time as children and adolescents and our experience of adultism, since has not been named, may get buried as we get on with our lives.<br /><br />I had a recent correspondence with a high school student who shared a personal story of adultism with me. When he asked some friends if they felt oppressed by adults, they said no. I suggested to him that talking about his recent experience and giving the oppression a name might change that. Once something is named, it is so much easier to talk about. Think about the term “sexism.” I’m quite sure I didn’t hear that word until I was well out of high school. Now, however, it is widely understood to mean the oppression of women by men. If I say, “that was a sexist remark,” most people would immediately understand what I mean. I think the word “adultism” needs to gain wide usage, so young people can use it to point out to each other and to the adults they interact with, their own experiences of oppression.<br /><br />Why do you think adultism is such a well-kept secret?Margaret Pevec. MAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13245204801036529952noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3917650044060141692.post-84112842423330793422009-04-01T13:57:00.000-07:002009-04-01T14:24:29.500-07:00"Sexting" Exposes AdultismI started catching up with the teen <a href="http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2009/01/15/national/main4723161.shtml">“sexting”</a> brouhaha today. One role of teenagers in a society is to shake up adult complacency and to test the limits of social behavior. This latest has certainly captured media attention. Nothing sells quite so well as teenagers and sex, does it? But you’ll never hear an adult commentator admitting that he wishes he were 16 again with a cell phone. Adults have a tendency to act as if young people live in a parallel universe that has nothing to do with them. We pretend to hold all the moral cards and pass judgment on the young from our ivory towers, even as we produce movies, TV shows and advertisements that expose our penchant for exploiting young, beautiful and sexy women.<br /><br />Teens of all eras have been creative and innovative in tweaking adult sensibilities. In my high school and young adult years, free love was just getting started, pot was coming back from Viet Nam with young vets and making the rounds of ordinary kids, and music was starting to be more edgy than in previous generations. Heck, even Beatle haircuts were causing family feuds. The current “sexting” incidents are a spit in the eye to adults: you’ve created this technology, now we’re going to take it to the limit, push it in your face, see how far we can go.<br /><br />I would feel a lot more comfortable about it if I knew that schools were providing comprehensive sexuality education to every teenager in the U.S., from 7th grade on and Sex Ed classes included lots and lots of discussion about relationships, identifying personal values and the sexual exploitation of girls in our culture. Since I know that our adultist society, by and large, feels compelled to withhold honest and thorough sexuality information from teenagers (we can't even talk openly about it ourselves), the idea of young high school girls sending nude photos of themselves to older teen boys is distressing because I don’t know if they understand the personal ramifications of their actions. For heaven sakes, they just need to know why sending a nude picture might come back to bite them later, and what adults who are into pornography might do with such a picture.<br /><br />But, as usual, we are blaming the victims of our outdated ideas. I think it’s ridiculous to prosecute these young people as pornographers. If I were a prosecutor involved in one of these cases, I would indict the federal and local policies that prohibit comprehensive sexuality education about such an important and life-changing topic for human beings, a topic that adults need to become more comfortable in addressing.Margaret Pevec. MAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13245204801036529952noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3917650044060141692.post-1692650852718886772009-03-31T13:14:00.000-07:002009-03-31T13:17:34.712-07:00Re-evaluation Counseling and AdultismI learned about adultism through Re-evaluation Counseling (aka RC or Co-Counseling), a grassroots movement that began in the early 50’s. Harvey Jackins and several friends figured out that they could exchange effective help with each other in the form of peer counseling. They also realized that the expression of emotion (crying in sadness, laughing in embarrassment, sweaty palms, trembling in fear, etc.) is actually the way to heal emotional hurts. So, a typical RC session splits the available time in half, and allows each person a turn at being client and counselor. The counselor’s role is to actively listen and support the client to “discharge” any emotions they feel about any topic that is of current concern. The client’s role is to dive into an issue that is currently causing distress. With regular sessions, as trust grows between client and counselor, deeper and deeper feelings can be expressed, feelings that often relate to an individual’s early run-ins with racism, classism, sexism, and of course, adultism.<br /><br />RC has done some amazing things over the past nearly 60 years, one of them has been connecting emotional distress with the effects of various oppressions. Another has been to invite people to write about their experiences as they unearth the effects of oppression in their personal lives. These articles are published in a number of journals by the organization, which are available for purchase on their website. There are RC groups in many major metropolitan areas around the world, where classes and support groups are available. I encourage anyone who’s interested to visit the <a href="http://www.rc.org/">RC website</a>. RC has been a fabulous resource in my life and offers an amazing amount of rich information about adultism.Margaret Pevec. MAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13245204801036529952noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3917650044060141692.post-71505147228750524682009-03-30T11:53:00.000-07:002009-03-30T11:57:04.671-07:00The Underbelly of AdultismThough my topic is adultism, I have always written about the more subtle ways adults disrespect children, never about the dark underbelly of behaviors. I live in a mostly white, middle class world and have since I left farm country in NE Ohio when I was 18. Watching <span style="font-style: italic;">Slumdog Millionaire</span> yesterday with my daughter, however, reminded me that the extremes of adultism include the many ways adults exploit children. In the movie, a man we hope is going to rescue the protagonist and his brother from their horrible existence picking through garbage to stay alive, turns out to use the children as beggars, and maims them to make their begging more effective. He also prostitutes the girls. This sort of exploitation goes on everywhere, but in our country, it is often hidden more carefully: think Catholic priests, pedophiles, an incestuous parent. Many of us cannot imagine being as brutal to another human being as was portrayed in this movie, let alone to children.<br /><br />But, the children were amazingly smart and resilient, as children often are, especially when left to their own devices to figure things out. When their mother was brutally murdered by marauding Hindus, they got the heck out of Dodge as fast as they could, finding shelter, surviving the hoards. They stuck together, and eventually used their meager resources to hawk some wares. They stole shoes at the Taj Mahal and became entrepreneurs there, taking clever photos of tourists. In a world that treated them like expendables, they fought for their survival without the help, and despite of, the adults around them.<br /><br />My point is just that: children are amazingly smart and resilient. We can learn from them. <span style="font-style: italic;">Slumdog</span> offers extreme examples, but many exist, if we’ll shut up and pay attention. And we need to keep working to create safety and care for all the world's children.Margaret Pevec. MAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13245204801036529952noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3917650044060141692.post-50009180895729811652008-05-06T14:51:00.000-07:002008-05-06T14:59:29.509-07:00Louisville, KY wins the prize for MayI have a Google Alert that lets me know if the word “adultism” is used anywhere on the internet. Needless to say I don’t get many alert emails, unfortunately. And, a lot of times when I do, it’s something I myself have written! But today I got something meaningful. On May 14th, the Louisville, KY Office of Youth Development will be presenting a 2-hour workshop on Adultism for youth workers! Wow, that’s so cool. I’ve emailed Rebecca DeJarnatt, the facilitator, to congratulate her and ask for more information.<br /><br />Less surprising, because he has written many blogs and articles on Wikipedia about adultism, was Adam Fletcher's blog <a href="http://commonaction.blogspot.com/2008/05/activities-that-address-adultism.html">"Activities That Address Adultism"</a> that arrived in my inbox this morning. Adam always has smart things to say about working with teenagers, so I encourage you to read it!Margaret Pevec. MAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13245204801036529952noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3917650044060141692.post-35926893311108351392008-05-05T08:07:00.000-07:002008-05-05T10:05:10.981-07:00Consider the PastI think it's important to remember that teens, like adults, come in a wide range of competencies and that those competencies are influenced a great deal by the culture. I'm reading "The Greatest Generation" by Tom Brokaw, and realizing (again) the amazing competency of my parents' generation, many of whom went to war or stepped up to other enormous challenges as teenagers. The word "teenager" wasn't even in common usage until sometime after 1938; there were children and adults, and adulthood happened no later than 18 for most people. <br /><br />I think if school was structured such that adolescents could spend most of their time doing meaningful, important community work; if they felt their opinions mattered to society and were included in all decisions; if they had the freedom and encouragement to find compelling work we would view teenagers in a completely different way. <br /><br />A recent comment to a blog I read regularly said, "Adolescent bodies, social instincts, and emotions develop way faster than their ability to envision realistic consequences or incorporate abstractions (like value systems) into their decision-making processes." I know plenty of teenagers with a fine ability to envision realistic consequences. And most children have great value systems, if adults would care to inquire, and leave their superior attitude at the door.<br /><br />My point is the adults control the culture and largely define what we will and will not allow adolescents to do and learn. You just have to think back to WWII to know that's true. Sexuality education is a good example. Arming young people with comprehensive information that includes not only the physiology but the psychology of sex and relationships with concrete strategies to deal with the complexities of relationship that we all, especially teenagers, encounter on a daily basis, would go a long way toward supporting them to adulthood.Margaret Pevec. MAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13245204801036529952noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3917650044060141692.post-71024213147228514952008-03-09T11:23:00.000-07:002008-03-09T11:25:23.144-07:00My True ConfessionThis is a true confession of an “adultist” moment I had Friday morning at the gym where I work out three mornings a week. A young woman with whom I sometimes share a swim lane saw me having an animated discussion with a man my age in the Jacuzzi. When I stopped to chat with her, she said she thought we might be an “item.” I explained that he was my brother, laughed, and made a remark about her being “young and foolish.” After giving it some thought I realized what I meant to say was that she was a “romantic,” but somehow my brain chose a remark that commented on her age, as if that had any relevance.<br /><br />Another woman in her 30’s told me a similar story recently. On a listserv to which they both belong, an older woman had made a pointed comment to her with the intended message that she was “too young” to understand; and this based only on seeing the 30-something’s photograph on her website. <br /><br />There is a common belief and assumption that age confers wisdom, but I know a lot of stupid adults and a lot of smart young people. And being the recipient of adultist attitudes and behaviors doesn’t end at the age of majority. Adultism is something we work at changing in ourselves, just like we have worked to change our unconscious racism and sexism. I’m still working on mine. How about you?Margaret Pevec. MAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13245204801036529952noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3917650044060141692.post-75546346820432499642008-03-05T15:56:00.000-08:002008-03-05T17:01:28.051-08:00How Adultism is Like Global WarmingI was listening to NPR today on the way to the bank. The program was about climate change and how there are many people who don’t want to admit that global warming is happening and that we humans are the cause. This reminded me of adultism. Adults just don’t want to admit that our behaviors and attitudes towards young people impact how they experience the world and how they behave as a result. And we’re always so surprised when a young person does something negative that is perfectly aligned with how they are treated in society. Mike Male’s book, <span style="font-style: italic;">The Scapegoat Generation: America’s War on Adolescents</span> spells this out most clearly as I mentioned in an earlier blog. If a young person shoots someone it's because adults make the guns. If a young person is using pharmaceuticals, he or she probably found them in the medicine cabinet at home. If a young person gets pregnant or contracts an STD, it has a lot to do with adults refusing to allow them to have comprehensive sex education to learn how to take care of themselves. Young people don't create the problems, they just follow our lead. So, the next time you want to point a finger at a young person about their behavior, look first at your own.Margaret Pevec. MAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13245204801036529952noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3917650044060141692.post-54290070309633069412008-02-24T17:11:00.000-08:002008-02-24T17:30:30.677-08:00Sharing Our Stories With Young PeopleA new writer friend of mine, <a href="http://tamarapalmer.com/">Tamara Palmer</a>, has a terrific idea for a book called <span style="font-style: italic;">My First: A Collection of Real Life Stories From Real Life Women Who Were Once Your Age Too</span>. She's designing it as a gift book for mom's to give to their 11-15 year old daughters, aunts to give to their nieces or gramas to give to their granddaughters. She envisions girls reading it together at slumber parties, and finding out that the things they're going through are normal and have been happening throughout the ages of women.<br /><br />Tamara’s idea will stick to the safer topics like “first period,” “first bra,” “first kiss,” “first trip away from home,” but I love the concept. It’s empowering and anti-adultist when adults share their personal stories with younger people in a loving, human-to-human way, so the youth can extract the “takeaway message” on their own. The tone of personal story is so different than typical adult lectures, which often sound like the adult has done no wrong, has never succumbed to risky activities, and knows everything there is to know about living life the “right way.” It also builds a bond: “Here’s an adult I can trust because they understand what I’m going through from their own experience.”<br /><br />In the research my co-author, <a href="http://www.ehhs.kent.edu/FCS/faculty.cfm?dept=FCS">Rhonda Richardson</a>, conducted that led to our book, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/What-Kids-Really-Want-Conversations/dp/1889242314/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1203902651&sr=1-1"><span style="font-style: italic;">What Kids REALLY Want To Ask: Using Movies to Start Meaningful Conversations</span></a>, she went right to 10-14 year olds to find out what topics were on their minds that they wished they could talk to their parents about. Her research posed the following to over 1200 middle schoolers: “If you could ask your mom or your dad one question and know you would get an honest answer, what question would you ask?” Many of their questions asked about a parent’s life experience when they were young. In the research done by the <a href="http://www.search-institute.org/assets/">Search Institute on Developmental Assets</a> with hundreds of thousands of young people in grades 6 through 12, only 1 in 4 said they have Asset #2: Positive Family Communication: “Kids turn to their parents for advice and support. They have frequent, in-depth conversations with each other on a variety of topics. Parents are approachable and available when kids want to talk.” I tuned out my mom when I was about 12, right when I needed her most, because I did not believe she had ever gone through what I was going through, and had nothing of value to communicate.<br /><br />I’ve talked to parents who feel strongly that they shouldn’t share about their drug/alcohol use or their early sexual experiences with their teenagers, because it might come across as a license to repeat parental mistakes. I believe not sharing is adultist and a missed opportunity to demystify, normalize and illuminate a child’s path to adulthood.<br /><br />Read more about Tamara’s project and find out how to share your own “firsts” by going to: <a href="http://tamarapalmer.com/">TamaraPalmer.com</a> and click on Call for Submissions.Margaret Pevec. MAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13245204801036529952noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3917650044060141692.post-84028386243999589052008-02-18T16:58:00.000-08:002008-02-18T17:23:30.853-08:00Anti-Adultist Authors and SchoolsOne of the institutions most in need of raised awareness about <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adultism">adultism</a> is our traditional public school system. And one of my favorite writers in that arena is <a href="http://www.johntaylorgatto.com/">John Taylor Gatto</a>, teacher of the year in NYC and author of “<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Dumbing-Down-Curriculum-Compulsory-Schooling/dp/0865714487/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1203382905&sr=8-1">Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling</a>” (1992). I remember how grateful I was when I first read his book many years ago for his clear articulation of how public schools fail our kids from his very personal, insider perspective. In his essay, “The Seven Lesson Schoolteacher,” he talks about how he was forced to teach confusion, class position, indifference, emotional dependency, intellectual dependency, provisional self-esteem, and that one can’t hide (children are always watched)…all aspects of adultism.<br /><br />Another writer who changed my life and my thinking profoundly around the same time as Gatto was <a href="http://www.gracellewellyn.com/">Grace Llewellyn</a>, who wrote “<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Teenage-Liberation-Handbook-School-Education/dp/0962959170/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1203383012&sr=1-1">The Teenage Liberation Handbook: How To Quit School and Get a Real Life and Education</a>.” Llewellyn’s book is written for teenagers to help them discover what they want to learn and how they can go about learning it away from school. She, standing on the shoulders of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Caldwell_Holt">John Holt</a> of the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unschooling">Unschooling</a> movement, inspired me to find a way to stop supporting a system that was so damaging to my children (I was raising four teenagers at the time), and get behind them to help them pursue their own, unique and authentic vision for their lives.<br /><br />If I could choose a school to propagate everywhere in the world, it would be <a href="http://www.summerhillschool.co.uk/">Summerhill</a>, established in 1921. Recently, <a href="http://commonaction.blogspot.com/">Adam Fletcher</a> wrote about this school on his blog. Summerhill has recently released a movie dramatization of how the students, teachers and staff took the British government to court to save their unique brand of education and won! You can watch all 12 episodes on <a href="http://youtube.com/">YouTube</a>. At Summerhill, children are allowed to choose what they learn, when they learn it and how they define success. The school is run democratically by thrice weekly meetings in which all participants, adults and children, have an equal voice. Their website is terrific, so go check it out.<br /><br />I see change in our public school system, but the change is coming way too slowly for my taste. This morning at the gym I heard an excited young mom tell another that her child had learned to speak in sentences by her 2nd birthday! I shudder when I remember that as soon as that child goes to school, she will be forced to focus her attention where adults have decided she should. Her natural curiosity, though resilient, will be dimmed, as she tries to fit into the arbitary and abstract world we call school. She will be taught how to regurgitate information for tests, how to be still and quiet; subduing all that comes easily, and struggling with what comes hard. I look forward to the day when we can look back in horror at our current school system, and breathe a sigh of relief that we finally found the will to change it.Margaret Pevec. MAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13245204801036529952noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3917650044060141692.post-92037308363643711482008-01-17T15:17:00.000-08:002008-01-17T16:28:46.784-08:00New Connections On AdultismWell, so much for making my blog writing a regular part of every week! It’s not like I haven’t been busy thinking about adultism, however. And I’ve made some really important connections.<br /><br />First, I encountered Adam Fletcher, who “observes, critiques and shares information about the role of young people in society and students in schools.” Actually, Adam encountered my blog and wrote a comment about a month ago. In a follow-up email, he said about his work empowering young people: “Additionally, I am the coordinator of <a href="http://www.freechild.org/adultism.htm">The Freechild Project</a> and <a href="http://www.soundout.org/">SoundOut</a>, both of which explore the roles of young people throughout society, particularly in relationship to adults. I have written more than <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Freechild/Contribs#Youth">100 articles about youth on Wikipedia</a>, including the entry on <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adultism">adultism</a>. I have written a lot about adultism on <a href="http://commonaction.blogspot.com/search/label/adultism">my blog</a>. My research on adultism has identified its earliest usage in research (1933), its earliest usage in our parlance (1978), and has helped grow the increasing popularity of the term today.” I can’t tell you how exciting it is to connect with Adam and read his blog entries on adultism and youth empowerment! And to know he’s done so much work in this area.<br /><br />Another name that’s crossed my path recently is David Kaplan, past president of the International Association of Marriage and Family Counselors. While doing internet research, a writing colleague, Andrea Meyer (<a href="http://www.workingknowledge.com/">http://www.workingknowledge.com/</a>) came across his name and this quote from an interview in <a href="http://www.fastcompany.com/articles/1999/12/david_kaplan.html">FastCompany.com</a> from 1999 in which Kaplan is explaining how he works with families on conflict resolution:<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Interviewer:</span> Do you find this process especially challenging when parents feel they have seniority and, therefore, should not have to compromise?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Kaplan:</span> Sure, that can certainly happen. Some people say, "I'm the parent; I should get my way simply because I'm the parent." At that point, we have a discussion of mutual respect. In my experience, the biggest single problem that causes youths today to act out is a lack of respect for adolescents and children by their elders, parents, and schools.<br /><br />It's understandable in many cases, but most teachers do not feel a need to respect their students as much as they themselves want to be respected by their students. So the students in turn say, "Why should I respect this teacher when they don't respect me?" One way that we can show respect in the family is to value all people's needs, and to realize that children's needs count too. I tell parents one of the ways they can show respect for their children is to compromise. I also tell them not to give up so much that they feel they are not being a good parent or are compromising their parenting. I ask them, "What are you willing to give up that would still maintain the integrity of your parenting?" Once kids begin to see that, "Gee, Mom and Dad are willing to give up something," then the kids start to show some flexibility, too.<br /><br />------<br /><br />Finally, a young person made a submission on my website page about <a href="http://www.margaretpevec.com/html/adultism.html">adultism</a>, letting me know that she considered my article for young people adultist. She felt that I was talking down to young people and that my article intended for adults was more respecting of everyone’s intelligence. I had gotten that comment previously from someone and agreed. I’ve finally rewritten the article for a general audience and it will be up again soon on my website. I urge anyone who’s interested in youth oppression to submit a story of 500 words or less on my website as a contribution to my hoped-for book on adultism.<br /><br />I am recommitting myself (again) to more blog entries for 2008!Margaret Pevec. MAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13245204801036529952noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3917650044060141692.post-77354861052244985592007-12-03T09:00:00.000-08:002007-12-03T09:14:51.009-08:00The New Parenting ParadigmI spent Thanksgiving at my nephew's house. Lucien is married with two young daughters. His first, Aysha, is a new toddler just learning to talk. His second, Wynn, is 5 months, a smiling Buddha-Baby. While taking a walk around the neighborhood I observed Lucien with Aysha and saw the inception of human empowerment. Lucien saw Aysha as a complete human being despite her young age. He talked to her and respected her opinions about what she wanted. He reacted to her expressions of feeling, and tried to find solutions that worked. Hence, she didn't need to get his attention by acting out. His inherent message was: "You are a unique and cherished person in my life. I support you to get what you want." It was an awesome walk! I have great hope for the new ones coming up who have parents like that.Margaret Pevec. MAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13245204801036529952noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3917650044060141692.post-32004822451447757242007-11-21T08:28:00.000-08:002007-11-21T14:56:38.107-08:00Mothering TeensAlong with my personal experience as a teenager, I have also raised four teens, who are now between the ages of 27 and 34. I got a few things right, mostly on the "responsiveness" end of things. I never could see my children as possessions, probably because of the Kahlil Gibran poem from "The Prophet" which went straight to my heart the first time I heard it. Here it is:<br /><br />On Children<br /><br />Your children are not your children.<br />They are the sons and daughters of life’s longing for itself.<br />They come through you but not from you,<br />And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.<br /><br />You may give them your love but not your thoughts,<br />For they have their own thoughts.<br />You may house their bodies but not their souls,<br />For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which<br />you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.<br />You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.<br />For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.<br />You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.<br />The Archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,<br />and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.<br />Let your bending in the Archer’s hand be for gladness;<br />For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves <br />also the bow that is stable.<br /><br />This poem, to me, epitomizes the role of parent to teenagers, and warns against adultism. It is not our job to mold children. It is our job to nurture, provide emotional and material support and to share our experiences when asked. They have their own journeys to take, their own mistakes to make, their own challenges to overcome. <br /><br />At no other time in history has the line, "For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams" been more true. Children today inhabit a world that is changing so rapidly that adults can't keep up. Since ancient times adults have bemoaned the young, expecting disaster at each turning. But, generation after generation finds their way. <br /><br />When I was in the thick of mothering my children as teenagers, this line always made me cry, "Let your bending in the Archer's hand be for gladness; For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable." I felt pretty bent, and really afraid, but I also had a lot of faith that my resilient children would find their way with or without me. They have, and I learn and grow from their example every day.Margaret Pevec. MAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13245204801036529952noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3917650044060141692.post-25572414238875970992007-11-14T08:37:00.000-08:002007-11-14T08:39:54.259-08:00My StoryPart of my passion about adultism comes from my own childhood. I was raised in rural NE Ohio, granddaughter of Slovenian immigrants. We lived on five acres, at least three of which were wooded and adjoining other undeveloped lands. My two older brothers and I (and other neighborhood kids) had tremendous freedom to roam and explore the natural world. I remember having my first picnic in the woods, sitting atop a huge rock with my best friend Tommy, sharing Kool Aid and sandwiches, when I was 5 years old. I’m sure our respective grandmothers were keeping an eye on us, but as far as I was concerned, we were alone. There was a silent message from those two grandmothers: we think you’re capable, we trust you. <br /><br />My mom and I were always close, but sadly, by the time I reached junior high, I had already decided I couldn’t talk to her about the stressful things that were going on in my life: my developing body and budding sexuality, being overweight, hating to be naked for gym showers, the overwhelming changes of going from my small elementary school to the bigger junior high in town. I wanted to wear nylons and tennis shoes year round; she wanted me in sensible shoes and socks. I thought I needed a bra; she didn’t notice. I was in love with the sexy boy from the next township over. She thought he was a hoodlum (she was right).<br /><br />Now I know my brain was taking it’s second growth spurt and that my thinking had become more complex. I could tell that my mom didn’t have the answers I needed. I knew her opinions were static, unyielding. Furthermore, no one talked to their parents in those days (the 60’s). The culture did not support closeness of the sort I had in my younger years with my mom. She and I lived in two separate worlds. Hers was the world of adults, the “know it all” beings who were in control and had all the answers. Mine was the world of young people, who didn’t. She was pretty much oblivious to what was happening in my life, and I liked it that way. Our patterns of non-relating lasted well into my adulthood. <br /><br />Young people have a lot to teach adults, and adults have lots of experience to share with young people. But adults can’t know the truth of the younger generation, because it is always changing. The saddest result of adultism in my life, and the lives of many other teenagers, is that I didn’t have my mom as an ally when I needed her the most. I simply couldn’t trust her to respect me as an individual.Margaret Pevec. MAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13245204801036529952noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3917650044060141692.post-51299331240932710612007-11-12T07:39:00.000-08:002007-11-12T08:14:42.748-08:00Why "Adultism"?Usually when I mention the word adultism, the response is total surprise, "I've never heard that word before!" Several days ago someone then followed with, "Why adultism? Why not adolescentism?" That was off the top of her head. Adultism doesn't just refer to the oppression of adolescents, but of all young people solely due to their age. Her comment got me thinking again about the word itself.<br /><br />I wrote my master's thesis on parent/adolescent communication through the lens of adultism in 2005. At that time I did an extensive literature review on adultism. Sadly, there was only one article that actually used the word itself. It was by Jack Flasher in 1978. [Flasher, J. (1978). Adultism. Adolescence, 13(51), 517-523.] I searched a number of academic databases and googled his name several times, but couldn't find any other work on adultism or any other subject by Jack Flasher. I'm wondering if he may have coined the term.<br /><br />Three other academic authors used the word "childism" in their writings: one in 1975, one in 1988 and one in 2000. Apparently that term did not stick.<br /><br />The first time I encountered the term "adultism" was in Re-evaluation Counseling (also known as RC or Co-Counseling: http://www.rc.org/), where I received a solid grounding in the theory around youth oppression. RC is a grass roots, international organization that teaches an effective form of peer counseling. By inviting members to share their experiences in writing via published journals, RC has collected a body of information about adultism that, I'm guessing from my research, probably surpasses any in existence. <br /><br />It continually amazes me that adultism is virtually unknown, although the tide of understanding is growing. When I did my thesis two years ago, a Google search on the word "adultism" resulted in 3000 hits. Earlier this year I did that search again and got 24,000; an increase of 800%. Wikipedia now has an extensive entry on adultism. Eventually it will become a household word.<br /><br />One more thought: the "oppression" words, like classism, racism and sexism, all have as their root the word around which the oppression revolves. For example, racism is oppression based on race. "Ageism" is the word that is supposed to refer to any oppression based on age. However, in both popular and academic usage, ageism has come to mean the oppression of older adults. There seem to be another class of oppression words springing up that refer to the oppression of more specific groups of individuals. "Heterosexism." for example, refers to behaviors that belie the assumption that everyone is heterosexual. Similarly, adultism describes an attitude that adults are superior in all ways to young people. And that's why I think adultism is a good term.Margaret Pevec. MAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13245204801036529952noreply@blogger.com0