Re-evaluation Counseling and Adultism

I learned about adultism through Re-evaluation Counseling (aka RC or Co-Counseling), a grassroots movement that began in the early 50’s. Harvey Jackins and several friends figured out that they could exchange effective help with each other in the form of peer counseling. They also realized that the expression of emotion (crying in sadness, laughing in embarrassment, sweaty palms, trembling in fear, etc.) is actually the way to heal emotional hurts. So, a typical RC session splits the available time in half, and allows each person a turn at being client and counselor. The counselor’s role is to actively listen and support the client to “discharge” any emotions they feel about any topic that is of current concern. The client’s role is to dive into an issue that is currently causing distress. With regular sessions, as trust grows between client and counselor, deeper and deeper feelings can be expressed, feelings that often relate to an individual’s early run-ins with racism, classism, sexism, and of course, adultism.

RC has done some amazing things over the past nearly 60 years, one of them has been connecting emotional distress with the effects of various oppressions. Another has been to invite people to write about their experiences as they unearth the effects of oppression in their personal lives. These articles are published in a number of journals by the organization, which are available for purchase on their website. There are RC groups in many major metropolitan areas around the world, where classes and support groups are available. I encourage anyone who’s interested to visit the RC website. RC has been a fabulous resource in my life and offers an amazing amount of rich information about adultism.

The Underbelly of Adultism

Though my topic is adultism, I have always written about the more subtle ways adults disrespect children, never about the dark underbelly of behaviors. I live in a mostly white, middle class world and have since I left farm country in NE Ohio when I was 18. Watching Slumdog Millionaire yesterday with my daughter, however, reminded me that the extremes of adultism include the many ways adults exploit children. In the movie, a man we hope is going to rescue the protagonist and his brother from their horrible existence picking through garbage to stay alive, turns out to use the children as beggars, and maims them to make their begging more effective. He also prostitutes the girls. This sort of exploitation goes on everywhere, but in our country, it is often hidden more carefully: think Catholic priests, pedophiles, an incestuous parent. Many of us cannot imagine being as brutal to another human being as was portrayed in this movie, let alone to children.

But, the children were amazingly smart and resilient, as children often are, especially when left to their own devices to figure things out. When their mother was brutally murdered by marauding Hindus, they got the heck out of Dodge as fast as they could, finding shelter, surviving the hoards. They stuck together, and eventually used their meager resources to hawk some wares. They stole shoes at the Taj Mahal and became entrepreneurs there, taking clever photos of tourists. In a world that treated them like expendables, they fought for their survival without the help, and despite of, the adults around them.

My point is just that: children are amazingly smart and resilient. We can learn from them. Slumdog offers extreme examples, but many exist, if we’ll shut up and pay attention. And we need to keep working to create safety and care for all the world's children.